My Love Affair With My Soul Turned Into A Warfare

At pen-Dimple Kundnani

To my heart and all the organs which utter disgust,

My brain numbed when your fingers rubbed, all the reflex actions I was taught about,

Turned into dust.

My love affair with my soul turned into a warfare.

When you touched, you scooped out the feeling of sensitivity I carried for years inside me with your lust.

The day I saw a brother turned into a beast, I hated, I hated to be born in a family.

To have to trust, to be broken, by people I considered as my closest.

You thought you could squeeze my insides , and the only sound I would make would be of moaning pleads ,

And not of disgust and my broken self-esteem.

You saw me like a dolled up beauty,

My smile you took for a yes, oh yes ! Is that my duty?

You knew me since I was eleven, and thought you could use me like a stencil, cave your ways upon my body, move your fingers as you liked.

Hushed me when someone entered

And turned violent the second I raised my voice.

My smile wants to frown, asks why the world is so full of pretence ?

You call “men” your savior,

despite you feel insecure under their armour of fake care.

You took my silence as my weakness , oh boy!

I am a fire that could burn you, but the bridges are, for what I care.

The people that are linked with us,

for which I pour in myself this venom of disgust.

My insides still fear dark roads,

Each day feels like bullets and swords.

My body isn't the same as it was, it feels cheated ,

By me . By every guy that looked with his thirsty eyes.

You took me as a doll ,

A toy to fulfill your never ending manhood desires inside closed doors , and making me feel like a stranger in the soul I claimed as my own.

It's not about categorizing “all men are the same”. No offense, but we say this cause most of the girls have felt this resentment , either from their father, brothers , neighbors, uncle or someone they didn't know at all.

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