On World Suicide Prevention Day
Updated: Jan 15, 2021
At Pen:
On World Suicide Prevention Day
Day 24 ,
I am still sitting near the window.
Lifeless, waiting for life to happen.
Clasping a blade on my left hand.
Staring at a distant mirage.,
In attempt to entice my mind.
The day I started feeling suicidal ,
Everything started to sound like gloomy Sunday. ( the song for suicides ).
Work load crossed brims,
I still feel like there is a lot to fill in.
A tiny breeze brushed on my skin.
Little warmth of the sun slowly fell on my lips.
I look around and saw the world moving so fast.
The one who took their grads , are now turning into a workaholic class.
Yesterday I sat with blades and shards of glasses.
Depression, anti depressents ,
Suggested my psychiatrist.
Symptoms were anxiety, heart racing at a speed over 180 beats per minute.
But maybe it was the void which was speaking.
My conscience asked me to make through the door.
But something screamed inside of me to push myself through the window.
Maybe jump , maybe play with the sharp ends of the knife.
And slightly cut my wrists.
But hey hold on a second!
What did I just miss..
I switch on the TV, rummaging through the drawers.
Looked up for hope , inspiration, maybe some headlines.
Some useless rantings on the other side.
Kept looking for my antidepressants,
maybe in the want to make it through another sunshine gloss.
But couldn't take it anymore ,
Nothing else I could picturize.
Only the calmness after the dead was buried.
My soul could be freed atleast.
Atleast after my demise
I hope ,
All dead matters won't mind.
I was covered in crimsons,
And it was no more a melancholic life.
Even at times when someone feels suicidal, they just wanna tuck inside and embrace life.
They just keep searching for that one hand,
Which could hold them when they feel vulnerable . It could have been yours.
it could be yours only if you try harder this time.
Just not post updates , that you are here to hear !
Actually hear them, sometimes a soft gesture.. is all it requires to give up all the negative desires.
So clutch their hands and maybe your world will also encounter some sweet innocent smiles.
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